I come from a pretty small town. A friend of mine (I secretly had a crush on her) was about to get married. Her fiance was (still is) a nice guy, but he can't cook very well.

Anyway, she asked me to make my World Famous Macaroni Salad for her bridal shower. She`d had it before at a work function, and decided it was perfect for her shower. But the recipe is top-secret; nobody outside my family knows how to make it. She wanted to know, though, and begged and begged to see me prepare it. (She said she "liked to watch." How was I to know?)

I decided that, as a gift, I`d give her the recipe. She and I were to make the salad together. She came over to my place and we started in the kitchen. Boiling eggs and macaroni, preparing spices - it was very nice.

As we were chopping up the onions (Spanish, of course), I noticed she was crying uncontrollably. "She LOVES me," I thought. I couldn`t know what was going on inside her head. She was in love with me, over my macaroni salad! All my dreams were coming true.

It was just the onions, though. I proposed to her the night before her wedding. She just laughed and told me not to come to the wedding. Damn the macaroni salad ... I haven`t been able to eat it again. I`m strictly a potato salad man now.
24